Sharona Stone
Divorce Services
Sharona Stone
3037791699
6093 S Quebec #200
Centennial, CO
sharona@stoneycreekdivorcesvcs.com
Parenting Coordination
Description of Parenting Coordination (PC):

PARENTING COORDINATION is generally a court-appointed role although it can also be voluntary, and is most appropriate for Moderate to High Conflict cases. These labels are frequently used to describe parents who are repeatedly filing motions with the Court, to have the Judge make decisions that they are unable to make independently. There is a trend in the Courts to first direct or order these parents to engage in sources of Alternative Dispute Resolution and only if those fail will the case be heard. Parents might want to consider that when they pursue solutions through litigation, they are actually giving up their parental rights to make decisions for their children and deferring to a Judge who most likely has never met their children and knows far less about them. Parents are the Experts on their children and their family when they are utilizing their better selves to achieve problem resolution. 

Parenting Coordination is a client-focused form of Alternative Dispute Resolution generally facilitated by a Mental Health professional with training in child development and mediation who is experienced in working with high-conflict parents. The Court may appoint a Parenting Coordinator when there is a history of recurring disputes that interferes with following the Court-ordered Parenting Plan. Divorcing parents may voluntarily choose to consult with a Parenting Coordinator for assistance in developing a Parenting Plan, or on an as needed basis for consultation on parenting disagreementsor disputes. The as-needed consultant role provides parents with an option for considering their children's needs first by engaging in a problem-solving process. This is a strategy available for parents who are also already divorced who wish to resolve their differences respectfully.

The Parenting Coordinator assists parents in developing skills to stay Goal-Focused in their discussions. The parents will learn the differences between adversarial and nonadversarial language, what is likely to escalate conflict and that which is likely to settle it down. An assessment of the family's interactional dynamics, the strengths and weaknesses of their communication skills between the parents, and their relative openness to engaging in conflict resolution. The Parenting Coordinator will strategize and utilze interventions designed to shift interaction patterns so that both parents are aable to engage with each other in a solution-focused problem solving process. A Parenting Coordinator who has training in structural and strategic marital and family therapy is best equipped to work in this manner with parents who have entrenched patterns of blocking input from the other parent.

A Parenting Coordinator can be considered a resource who is available to both parents and looks out for the children's best interest, redirecting parents to focus on the needs of their children. The well-trained PC will be able to highlight for parents when their personal and emotional needs are trumping the needs of  their children. The PC will help the parents identify when this dynamic is operant, to assist them in its recognition and acknowledgment so that they can progress beyond what is likely to bring them to a stalemate. Commonly in divorce or post-divorce conflicts, the children's needs on the surface are the subject; however, they may be a facade or an arena for the parents to be addressing unresolve issues between themselves. The Parenting Coordinator's job is to help the parents recognize when they are confusing the issues and redirect their focus back to their children.