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DESCRIPTION OF MEDIATION:
Court-Ordered or Voluntary Service
Mediation is a form of Alternative Dispute Resolution which you can elect to utilize, or it may be ordered by the Court. Mediation provides you with the protection of confidentiality, and a Mediator can not be subpoenaed to testify in Court as to any of the communications that occurred during Mediation. A Mediator has specialized training in mediation skills and practices the art of Mediation. Mediators are typically professionals who are trained in another discipline, most commonly in Mental Health or in Law. A Mediator is an impartial third party who has no vested interest in the outcome of the case.
The purpose and goals of Mediation are to help two parties engage in a facilitated discussion of their differences, to develop an understanding of each other's position; to create a safe middle ground in which the interests of each party can be more fully expressed; and heard in new ways. Often a meeting with Mediator is the first face-to-face contact a couple has after separation. Divorcing couples are often surprised that a skilled Mediator is able to create a safe environment in which the parties can be more open to hearing what is important to the Other and facilitate their engagement in respectful communication. In many cases, the Mediator is able to highlight for them, some common goals that they may have previously been unable to recognize. The Mediator can help the parties to communicate using nonadversarial language to express their ideas, lowering defensiveness, and enhancing the parties flexibility to consider new options.
Mediated agreements have been found to be more durable than Court orders because the parties have voluntarily agreed and are likely to be invested in solutions that they have crafted. Mediated cases have significantly lower percentages of post-divorce litigation, partially because the divorcing couple has learned new communication skills through the mediation process and have an improved understanding of how escalation of conflicts are attempts at bullying the Other to give you what you want. Bullying undermines trust and in order to enter into an agreement as well as to stick to its terms requires confidence that the other party will do the same.
Going to Court is an adversarial process that is likely to be emotionally wounding to one or both of the parties. In Court witnesses testify to the strengths and weaknesses of both parents character, situations are often described out-of-context or exaggerated. Commonly Court is viewed as an arena where there is a Winner and a Loser and that one party can be vindicated by a Judge. In a majority of cases there will be a need for parents to continue communicating about their children as well as the Courts expect parents to be able to put their children's needs ahead of their own. The judicial system expects that parents will have the ability to set aside any hurt feelings that they may have and restrict their communication to the business of meeting their children's needs. Vengeful parents fail to recognize the role model that they are being for their children and the lessons they are learning about conflict engagement.
For more information you may contact us at:
TEL: 303.779.1699
EMAIL: sharona@drsharona.com
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