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 AT STONEY CREEK FAMILY RESOURCES
We provide the stepping stones
To ease your way through the rough waters
At Stoney Creek Family Resources we believe
You can create your divorce experience
At Stoney Creek Family Resources our commitment is
To empowering divorcing couples to find solutions that address the needs
Of everyone affected by the divorce
At Stoney Creek Family Resources, we are experienced in assisting divorcing couple who wish to reach a more peaceful settlement. We know how important it is to set an appropraite tone early in the process. This increases the likelihood of maintaining a collaborative problem-solving approach throughout the divorce process. When children are involved, the parental relationship will continue post-divorce. The nature of the divorce experience will inevitably impact the continuing and ongoing co-parenting relationship and affect the child(ren)'s further development.
At Stoney Creek Family Resources we prefer to consider Divorce to be a process instead of a single event. We view the divorce process as an opportunity that has growth-promotinig potential for everyone involved. Activating this potential is enhanced when divorce can be framed for the couple in terms of reaching a fork in the road where it is no longer possible to proceed as a couple traveling the same path. The path is being split in two different directions, one for each partner, two separate individuals proceeding forward in pursuit of saatisfying personal needs. The challenge is when there are children, and the parents must meet repeatedly at this juncture to arrange for the transfer of their children. Many divorcing couples get stuck at this juncture for a variety of reasons. Often unmet emotional needs during the marriage are being expressed in unproductive ways, prolonging the separation process and reaching resolution of issues required for settlement. Not surprisingly, the children become the focal point of conflicts because they create the imperative for divorcing parents to remain connected and in communication about "our children." When divorcing parents look at their children they have an opportunity to see "what was once good" in their relationship with the other parent and has led up to them developing into the special people, they are. Or, another possibility is to look at one's children and eye them with resentments, perceiving similarities they might have to the other parent that are no longer acceptable.
There are differences between the partner who has filed for a divorce and the partner being served with divorce papers. The Filer has been preparing for some time to leave the relationship and likely to be more emotionally ready than their partner. The partner who is served with divorce papers may or may not have known they were coming, may have minimized or denied the severity of problems the other has perceived. Emotionally, the reality may set in more gradually for one than the other, and there may be phases of denial, bargaining to resurrect the relationship, anger preceding acceptance, and perhaps despair over the loss of "what once was" and all the aspects involved in facing a new reality - being a single parent.
When there has been a breakdown in the communication process for an extended period of time, it is difficult to resume communication particularly when it comes to discussions about children and property, residences, parenting time and finances. The Filer is more likely to be ready to proceed while the person served may need time to integrate the meanings attached to divorcing before getting to a place where rational discussion can be possible and lead to reaching agreements. Lack of sensitivity to differences in timing, when one partner is ready to sprint ahead and the other is just trying to stand on his or her feet can ignite a vicious cycle of emotional escalation and intensified conflict, moving them further away from achieving resolution. The goal is to reach mutual agreements since those are the most sustainable, each partner sensing they were heard and participated in crafting solutions.
At Stoney Creek Creek Family Resources we recognize that divorcing couples often perceive events differently, and can become locked into their perspective. Our understanding of family dynamics and skills in Mediation and Life Coaching provide some of the many tools we use to assist you in identifying issues that need to be addressed and to be resolved. Our skills are used to provide structure for discussions, whether high or low conflict, staying focused on one issue at a time; delineating the details of each specific issue; and assuring each party's voice is heard and their perspectives are taken into consideration in reaching and drafting agreements. This specialized and detailed approach is more likely to result in reaching a settlement because it is truly focused on addressing the concerns of the individuals who will be responsible for implementing the agreements reached.
Mediation can be a process that divorcing couples are court-ordered into or voluntarily choose to enter because they would like to reach a settlement in the least adversarial manner possible. For mediation to be successful, a Mediator must understand the importance of engaging the parties through eliciting their genuine concerns; and respectfully listening and acknowledging them with an understanding of the details important to them. When agreements are lacking key components, a Mediator can start by highlighting the Areas of Agreement and indicators that some agreements have already been reached. The next step is fine-tuning and inclusion of specificity to reduce the potential for misunderstandings. At Stoney Creek Family Resources we are sincerely committed to addressing your concerns because we believe "Better divorces are possible;" and that the attitudes of the professionals involved set the emotional stage.
At Stoney Creek family Resources we offer a range of services to help address the needs of families at the different stages in the divorce process. Easing your way through the rough waters and calming the current to rationally approach the issues that will need to be resolved. Our services for divorcing parents are child-focused because we know that your children are or may be, the recipients of fallout from your marriage and the tone you set for your divorce. We prepare parents to be competent in conducting, addressing and attending to the business of co-parenting the children they brought into this world. We are familiar with the most recent research on divorce and continue sharpening our skills with continuing education.
We believe in the importance of children, having two actively involved parents in their lives and that the children will know that they will continue to have a relationship with their mom and with their dad.
Utilization of the services we offer at Stoney Creek Family Resources may ease your way and calm your passage through the rough waters of divorce that have the potential to provide a more peaceful transition.
For more information you may contact us at:
TEL: 303.779.1699
Email: sharona@drsharona.com |
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